Did you know that stress and anxiety can come in camouflage – and that if they successfully invade – without recognition, the door may be left ajar for other negative emotions to sneak in as well?   As told in this short story scene:

The breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, escaped in a long sigh. Time seemed to move in a weird combination of slow motion – and jump-cuts. Minutes seemed to drag along – while hours blazed by, with little to no real accomplishment.

The smallest task felt like an ordeal that required planning and organizing skills far beyond her ability. She felt defeated before even starting. Some things did not rate an attempt – and others were not completed. Yet she had so many things she really wanted to do.

She anticipated joyful times with long-awaited family visits, laughter, music, and the sparkle of the season. It was going to be great – and it really would be, IF she could drag herself out of the chair to get preparations going. She was so tired.

Fatigued to the point she couldn’t sit through a TV show without falling asleep – yet she lay wide-eyed in bed for hours, with thoughts spinning … sometimes until dawn slipped beneath the window shade.

She thought … ‘I’m not sick, or in real pain. My family seems OK, or at least stable at the moment. No one is in a hospital or a jail tonight – and soon it will be Christmas. So what’s up? Why this uneasy gloom?’

It’s a good question. Have you ever asked one like it? Can you relate to the symptoms in that scene?

***

I really want to encourage and help others to learn the science and potential of strategies for coping with Depression and Anxiety. I want to help them find the gifts that are within them – and to be able to use them, for their own benefit and for others.

People often seem unaware of their own unique value – and I’m thrilled join the ‘treasure hunt’ of re-discovery.

That’s what this project feels like for me – a treasure hunt, and a blessing. It’s a labor of love. It’s also intimidating.

I want to be an effective coach and cheerleader – sharing the wealth of newer information that can make a positive difference.

There are moments of absolute wonder – and moments when I wonder if I’m right for the job. Writer’s doubts can seep in like a fog, blurring my vision for this work.

What I don’t doubt is the wonder of God’s Grace, and that this task is a gift – as much for myself as for my readers.

Common advice says … ‘Write what you know’. That bit of wisdom has been passed around so often it has become a cliché – but it’s just as true today as when first spoken.

The truth is that while completely spontaneous and creative writing is wonderful – there is also great strength in the familiar – writing what you know.

Thus far, I have been writing about what I know – from both personal and professional history (which you can find in the ‘About Me’ section of this book-blog).

In this forum I have shared research (old and new), and shared my excitement about the explosion of new discoveries in neuroscience, and in both physical and mental ‘Wellness’.   I have also shared a little personal history.

I wonder if I can share encouragement from personal current events as well?

Would you find any value in narration of someone ‘walking the walk’ – while attempting to write the ‘talk’? Would it help to see behind the curtain as strategies are put to work – imperfectly, and in spite of momentary staggers?

It’s a bit un-nerving, but perhaps worth the attempt. So here goes …

I’ll begin with disclosure: The ‘She’ in my little story is me.

***

It’s been a strange few weeks – with emotional anniversaries of loss, family medical Emergencies, legal stressors, and social obligations crowding the calendar.

I’ve been bending God’s ear ceaselessly about all of my ‘stuff’ (even though I didn’t fully recognize what it was) and, because I know He hears, and is with me – I have carried on with a smile (most of the time) – answering inquiries (‘How are you?’) – saying, ‘Oh, I’m doing fine.’

I’ve practiced denial like a fine art form, thinking I was OK – balanced and above the fray. But I was beginning to struggle with writing deadlines and procrastinating with other things I deeply care about.

I started losing energy and positivity – and began to notice symptoms.

I realized it was time to take my own advice, and began a mindful inventory until I could honestly identify my feelings – in that short story scene.

I followed through with some self-help using the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (A.C.T) model … along with heart-felt prayers. After a good night of sleep, I got up this morning feeling like I want to play, laugh and maybe even sing.   Hallelujah!  I don’t need to take myself so seriously!

Writing this book does not mean that I must be able to rise above the struggles, or to have all the answers (which is a good thing – because I surely don’t).

I have said that ‘failure isn’t fatal – it’s educational’. Maybe we can put some of that education to use.

I used the same strategies that I’ve been sharing with you – and maybe (if I just lighten up, and tell it like it is) – someone else will be encouraged with the review, and with what I have just been reminded of … again.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9 the apostle shares his experience, and God’s assurance:

‘And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

In other words – our weakness becomes the perfect display for God’s strength, which is revealed in our lives – as He carries us through.

Here’s a review of my strategy cycle for this week:

In spite of my skilled use of ‘smiling’ denial, I finally noticed the lack of joy in my own personal ‘Mudville’, and began to recognize the symptoms of my distress.

I let go of unrealistic expectations – that I should (somehow) be able to ‘soldier on’, marching above stressed-out emotions – and realized that I needed to practice what I’ve been preaching.

I sent up a quick prayer request for wisdom and help – and started some deep breathing.

Then: I took one mental step back from the emotions of being overwhelmed. Rather than quoting my feelings, as if they were facts – I phrased my experience this way …

“I’m having thoughts that I’m too sad, overwhelmed, and under-qualified to accomplish what concerns me.”  

Next: I recognized and gave my subconscious story a Title: “Oh, it’s the ‘Wonder Woman – Mother Hubbard’ story again’.

In this story I’m supposed to be the hero. (I bet you have your own version of this story type.) ‘I should be able to do all things in any circumstance – like Wonder Woman. But, as the door opens on my store of personal strength and attributes … I’m afraid the cupboard is bare’.

Just that little bit of insight – that stories are often fiction, and that my symptoms were part of a STORY – was enough to buy some breathing space.

Is it fiction? Yes. I’m no hero – and I have never come close to imagining that I could look like Wonder Woman in those tights!

It’s amazing what a bit of truth, breathing space, and the ability to lighten up, can do for us.

With a more accurate perspective, I was also able to see that I had re-phrased God’s promise that … ‘we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us’.

Unconsciously, I had re-worded and miss-applied it to say … I should be able to do all things, because Christ gives me strength to be ‘Wonder Woman’. I claimed that role – and, obviously, the character in the spangled tights is the star of this scene … so I must be a failure for not performing it well enough. Right?   Ohhh, ego and guilt are a dangerous combination.

What a relief to finally be able to see the story I had engineered, for what it was. Just a story – and a comedy too, which earned the laugh that ‘Mother-Hubbard’-Me  was able to give it.

Thank God I’m not the Casting Director in the story of my life. The real ‘Star’ in that story is much higher than I. I’m content to let the Master handle those roles while I just act my ‘character’ part as well as I can. I have permission to relax a bit – because the ‘character’ actor is always given quirks and foibles to add interest to the script … and I have those in abundance!

Next: The A.C.T. model called for a ‘commitment to action’. The action I chose was to vacuum the living room – and let my mind fully focus on each clean sweep until that one simple task was done. Then I vowed to get on with writing this article, and to share any nuggets of truth I found, in the process.

That brings us up to date. I am out of the tunnel and heading back into light.

Ten Quick Tips for dealing with stress – while processing and deciding on other resolutions:

• Go Natural: Get some fresh air – walk or bike and enjoy nature’s sights and sounds.
• Drink water.
• Do some deep breathing exercises.
• Try chewing gum. The smell and taste, plus the rhythm of chewing, may help with relaxation – and some believe it might even improve blood-flow to the brain.
• SMILE. A simple big smile activates facial muscles around the eyes and mouth – and (believe it or not) can begin to change brain chemistry within a few seconds to reduce stress. If you can’t manage a smile on your own – try placing a drinking straw in your mouth side-ways (like holding a rose between your teeth) … If you look in the mirror while doing this – you may think it so silly  you’re almost guaranteed to see that ‘smile’ expand. You might even get a giggle or two from the exercise. That’s GOLDEN!
• Listen to Music: Pick something soothing. In one study, Latin Chorale worked to lower stress better than the sounds of rippling water.
• Play the GLAD game. Find something to be glad about in each of your experiences – or lack of an experience. (For example: I’m glad I feel so good today – or – I’m glad I don’t have horrible pain today.)
• Write your feelings.
• Get Busy !

Prayer and mindfulness – linked with these types of immediate stress exercises, and with strategies from the A.C.T. model, were effective for me. Learning from this experience, has made it a ‘Blessing in Disguise’.

Please don’t think my enlightenment was simple or speedy. It took a few days just to recognize and face my issues and, as I confessed, my thinking was foggy- as we all can be, from time to time.

Important take-aways from this story are that: 1) stress can come in camouflage; 2)  We need to be mindful – and honest with ourselves; 3) we can ask for heavenly help – the sooner the better; 4) Quick stress reducers are good to use; 5) we can implement self-help strategies from our choice of therapy models – and find them effective .

I am grateful to be over this hurdle. There will be others as I go along. There will be for you too. This has been our story since the fall of man.

What a relief to be reminded that as I write about navigating ‘inner-space’, I’m on the same journey with everyone reading this … and that we are sharing the adventure together.

I hope you found some encouragement. I am encouraged to read of Biblical heroes who share similar experiences.

In the Old Testament King David (A man after God’s own heart) survived several times of painful anxiety and described his coping strategy this way …

‘ ⁴ You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. ⁵ I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times. ⁶ I call to remembrance my song in the night; I meditate within my heart, and my spirit makes diligent search.’… ¹⁰ And I said, “This is my anguish; But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High.” ¹¹I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember your wonders of old … ¹⁴ You are the god who does wonders:’           (Psalms 77: 4-6; 10-11; 14)

Until next time – I wish you Blessings, Love and Laughter,

Marge

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